mynutsitch.com

As I’ve mentioned before, the company I work for is going through a massive reorganization that is resulting in layoffs.  Lots of them.  Tens of thousands.

So I started trying to think of some other possible revenue producing ventures that I could get into relatively quickly.  Really, my only criteria were that they paid relatively well and would be fairly easy to get into (no major educational requirements, significant prior experience, etc).

The next few blogs will offer up some of the possible careers I contemplated (even if just for a few seconds).

One of the first potential jobs I thought of is one of the worst.

Car Salesman

Lots of money?  Yeah, if you’re good at it.  Required skills?  Not many, and sadly I was actually in sales for several years.

And the thing is…I think I’d actually be good at car sales.

But my managers and coworkers would hate my fucking guts and the feeling would be mutual.

I was good at sales because I actually listened to what people wanted and helped them make an informed decision, not because I convinced them that a Kia with the extended warranty was a superior choice over the 325i down the street.

Pulling that sort of shit is pretty much expected (and encouraged).  Pretty shitty, really.

That’s why every single day I’d have a very strong urge to grab a handful of business cards and walk up to every single one of the people I work with, giving them dozens of papercuts on their eyeballs and on the fleshy parts between their sleazy little fingers before dousing them with the bottle of vodka conveniently located in my desk drawer and lighting them on fire, reducing them to steaming bubbly puddles of gooey flesh on the freshly waxed showroom floor.

Yeah, I think that one needs to be eliminated.  I think it might be illegal to have that much fun at work.

To be continued…