mynutsitch.com

I love music. Good music. Crappy music makes me want to vomit.

My old roommate Rob and I used to have a blast making up alternate (read: better) lyrics to songs when we used to live together. I decided that might be kinda fun, so I tried thinking of a crappy song I could thoroughly defile.

Ahh….James Blunt’s ‘You’re Beautiful’….doesn’t get much worse than that. In fact, I dare say that my version is quite a bit better (although probably not suited for being played over and over and over and over and over on the radio…)

The only downside to sitting down and writing alternate lyrics to crappy songs is that NOW I HAVE THAT FUCKING SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD….

Anyway…this is what happens when I’m bored at work on a Tuesday morning.

Here’s the actual song if you want to sing along (although this one could be a little tough to follow in some spots…it works in my head though)

Love life is stagnant
My thoughts impure.
I saw your myspace
You’ve got the cure.
We traded private messages.
I had my junk in my hand.
It’s not quite what I had in mind
But I’ve got a plan.

Your booty-hole
Your booty-hole
Your booty-hole, my tool.
Gonna blast my cum all up in your bum.
And then wipe off chunks of poo.
‘Cause no one likes chunks of poo.

Yes, you heard me right.
I hope you understand.
It’s nothing personal but I’m going to
turn out the lights.
I don’t think that I’ll see you again,
But I think we shared a moment there
while I was in your end.

Your booty-hole
Your booty-hole
Your booty-hole, my tool.
Yeah I blew my cum all up in your bum.
And then wiped off chunks of poo.
On your lower back tattoo.

La la la
la la la la la la

Your booty-hole
Your booty-hole
Your booty-hole, my tool.
I can’t believe your asshole put such a smile on my face.
But when I turned the lights on it was wiped away.
I think it’s time to face the truth,
I guess that I’m not gay.
I really need to start learning how to play that guitar that’s been sitting there collecting dust….