mynutsitch.com

A few weeks ago a car-full of girls in their late teens (I think…it’s really damn hard to tell sometimes) pulled up next to me at a red light and were waving, giggling, saying “hi” and just generally being retarded teenage girls. I just smiled and sort of half-waved, not sure exactly how to react.

Have I ever mentioned I’m socially retarded? Read the rest of this entry »

This is the 3rd (and final) blog in the series I created while my company was going through massive layoffs.

What kind of jobs would I be qualified for? Read the rest of this entry »

New York - In a scene eerily reminiscent of 9/11, smoke poured from a 50-story condominium building and flaming debris rained down on the streets below after a single engine plane crashed into the 20th floor of The Belaire tower Wednesday.

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In case you missed it, you should at least skim part 1 so you know what the hell I’m talking about.  I know hardly anyone read it.  I’m psychic.

And when I say psychic I mean “capable of looking at the blog counter”.

Fuckers.

So this is part 2 of the possible career changes I am considering depending on what all happens at work over the next few months.  It was just too damn long to put in one blog without people passing out halfway through.  Sue me. Read the rest of this entry »

As I’ve mentioned before, the company I work for is going through a massive reorganization that is resulting in layoffs.  Lots of them.  Tens of thousands.

So I started trying to think of some other possible revenue producing ventures that I could get into relatively quickly.  Really, my only criteria were that they paid relatively well and would be fairly easy to get into (no major educational requirements, significant prior experience, etc).

The next few blogs will offer up some of the possible careers I contemplated (even if just for a few seconds).

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Actually, yes I would.

I couldn’t sleep and I had a song stuck in my head. A classic song. One that everyone knows.

A perfect candidate for lyrical desecration.

I’m pretty sure Eric Clapton wouldn’t approve, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tears in heaven will never be the same. Read the rest of this entry »

I love music. Good music. Crappy music makes me want to vomit.

My old roommate Rob and I used to have a blast making up alternate (read: better) lyrics to songs when we used to live together. I decided that might be kinda fun, so I tried thinking of a crappy song I could thoroughly defile.

Ahh….James Blunt’s ‘You’re Beautiful’….doesn’t get much worse than that. In fact, I dare say that my version is quite a bit better (although probably not suited for being played over and over and over and over and over on the radio…)

The only downside to sitting down and writing alternate lyrics to crappy songs is that NOW I HAVE THAT FUCKING SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD….

Anyway…this is what happens when I’m bored at work on a Tuesday morning. Read the rest of this entry »

I told myself I wasn’t going to share any more personal info in my blogs but, honestly, I’m not sure what else to do.  I really feel like you and I have made some sort of connection and…well, the couple people I tried talking to in person just looked at me weird for a minute and then laughed at me.

I apologize if this isn’t the best written blog in the world but I’m really freaking out right now.  It’s hard to write when I’m all wound up like this, so bear with me because I really need some advice.  I have no idea what to do or where to go from here.  I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. Read the rest of this entry »

It has come to my attention that some people believe I have “gone soft.”

In fact, I even lost a blog subscriber yesterday, presumably after they read that particular blog.  (Don’t ask me who…I can’t keep track…I can barely remember the name of the girl I talked to on the phone 5 minutes ago, let alone keep track of all of you)

Well, never fear.  I’m about as soft as a 13 year old boy on the set of a porno.  (Provided he isn’t blind and deaf…)  Read the rest of this entry »

The Greatest Thing In The History Of The World(tm) happened last week at work and I feel compelled to tell you all about it. Mostly because it was funny enough to make me laugh so hard I could barely breathe, which is pretty damn difficult to do. The only thing in recent memory to do that was the episode of Family Guy where they all drank ipecac and painted their living room in a nice shade of puke green.
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